Messy

This sounds excellent doesn't it? 

But it made me start thinking is it accurate? Do I have an unquenchable thirst for creative expression? Do I even have any creative expression? I mean I blog but I don't know how creative it is. It's not like I'm making up stories. Pretty much it's just me talking. Like 90% of the time these are literally conversations...or monologues..I would have.

I have noticed that I over use certain words; literally and awesome, for example. I am going to pretend like it is part of my signature writing style so when I am famous people will be able to pick my writing out of a crowd. I will probably be Picasso famous. You know misunderstood while I am alive and considered one of the greats after I'm dead. Like that will do me any good. I will not be Picasso crazy though. I like my ears. Maggi crazy is just fine for me.

I wonder if being completely crazy is necessary for great creative expression. I mean most of the greats were crazy or were at least considered crazy in their time. And to be truly great there is a level of obsession that could be considered crazy. Like inventors who keep trying despite all the odds to develop this thing only they believe in. Or that only they can see. But in the end they are considered geniuses. Because there is a fine line between genius and insnaity

Holy cow...there's the answer. I'm a genius!

I believe we are done here.

Bucket List

I heard somewhere recently, obviously "somewhere" is a very reliable source, that elderly people are dying less and less from natural causes. They are dying doing the crazy things on their bucket lists. My first thought when I heard that, I'm pretty sure I heard it on the radio, was "How cool is that!"

I have decided this is how I'm going out. The minute I find out that I have a life threatening illness. Or when I hit "that certain age" I am making up the most epic bucket list ever. By the way did you see that movie? It is box office gold. Make sure you bring tissues.

If I go see the doctor and he says you have such and such I am booking a ticket on the nearest plane and going to swim in the Nile. Wrestle alligators. Zip line in the Amazon. I am going out with a bang. Or maybe a whimper. Who cares I'm going to have a blast doing it.

I think I'll swim with the whales. Or the sharks. Or dolphins. Maybe go on a safari in Africa. Stand face to face with an elephant.

The point is I will not go quietly. As Dylan Thomas said:

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

- See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15377#sthash.z8leaZBK.dpuf

Or as Bob Dylan said (sang?):

I will not go down under the ground

'Cause somebody tells me that death's comin' round

And I will not carry myself down to die

When I go to my grave my head will be high

http://www.metrolyrics.com/let-me-die-in-my-footsteps-lyrics-bob-dylan.html

I will be going out on my own terms. And it will be epic.

(Disclaimer: The reality is someone will probably find my withered body in the obscure section of a library. But that’s cool too)

Destiny Church Rocks

There are a lot of reasons why I love my church. I thought I should list some of them out. 

1. The level of involvement for everyone. There is always something going on. There is always a way to volunteer and be involved. Over this last weekend there was a fundraiser for our youth. This coming weekend we will be redoing an elementary school library (you know that is a project close to my heart) and doing touch ups to the school building. That is just a very small sampling of all the things the church does.

2. The incredible community outreach. We do things for the community as well as minister to the community. And we try to make it as fun as possible. Community wide Easter egg hunt? We did it. Bouncy houses at the Fourth of July jam? Done. What’s next? Adopt a school! All over it. And those are just the big things. 

3. Accepting people no matter what their past holds. We all have one. No one is perfect. Our church has people from all walks of life. And every one of them is treated equally. And even though we’re all going to stumble you’re still welcome.

4. The music. There is nothing like dragging into church on a Sunday morning not quite awake and ending up pumped up by the amazing music. Happens every time.

5. And last but most important are the people. You make friendships and have people looking out for you even when you don’t realize it. On Sunday my headlights were on because my new car has an extra long timer. I was told about it because people recognized my new car. The car that I forget what it looks like regularly. And then they kept an eye on it to make sure they went out and I didn’t end up with a dead battery. If you say you’re having a bad day you immediately have people asking what they can do. Praying for you. And cheering you up. 

I am so glad I took the time to find a church that feels like home.

Blogger

I don't know that I consider myself a blogger so much as a person who blogs but this picture made me stop and think. As we all know by now things that make me stop and think are going to be talked about in one way or another. So let us discuss this one panel at a time.

Panel 1

And here we see the blogger in her natural habitat....

First of all I will never be that tiny. Just saying. Secondly I am physically unable to type that way. Maybe if I was still 13 instead of 20 years older than 13. Do the math, I'll wait. Probably not though considering I can barely type as it is. And the teddy bears kind of creep me out.

Panel 2

The blogger is a shy, docile creature...

Wait, wait wait. I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe. Oh the thought of me being shy....I can't wrap my mind around it. There are no words. And docile???? Yeah no that won't be happening ever. Also why is she sitting on top of the cabinet?? Is climbing furniture a characteristic of a blogger?? 

Panel 3

....that prefers the darkness...

That is the brightest darkness I have ever seen in my life. Darkness works better if you cover or put out the source of the light not cover the top of your head. Are you cold is that the issue? Maybe you are pretending to be a nun....sorry I got off track. The only time I prefer the darkness is if I work nights. I am incredibly adaptable. 

Panel 4

...and tends to be wary of the outside world.

Eh...the outside world doesn't bother me as long as they respect my personal space and do what I say. There's some pretty cool stuff in the outside. As a force of nature myself the outside world tends to be wary of me. As it should be. 

Nope I'm not a blogger. I am a Maggi. I suspected as much all along.

Nevada Silliness

Nevada Crazy Laws

Statewide:

It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

A. How do you drive a camel?

B. Is there a pack of feral camels roaming the deserts of Nevada?

It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.

Sounds reasonable

City Laws in Nevada

Clark County

An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department.

Well OK then

Elko

Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.

It's a masquerade party every day!

Nyala

A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.

I sense a lot of loopholes in this law.

Reno

Sex toys are outlawed.

It's sin city lite.

It is illegal to lie down on the sidewalk.

Well there goes my performance art piece

Benches may not be placed in the middle of any street.

And again messing with my performance art. I think Reno has it out for me.

Laws found at: http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/nevada

Oh Missouri...You're So Silly!

Missouri has some really silly laws

For the entire state:

It is illegal to have oral sex.

I have no words....

Single men between the ages of twenty-one and fifty must pay an annual tax of one dollar (enacted 1820).

An incentive to get married?

It is not illegal to speed.

Do the police know about this??? Cause I've gotten a few tickets in my time.

City Laws in Missouri:

Buckner

In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday.

I'm not sure why this is listed as a silly law

Columbia

One may not drink in a bar between 2:00 and 6:00 AM.

What can you do in a bar then?? I happen to know this is actually enforced and they have all night juice bar/dance clubs.

You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25′ satellite dish.

1. What??? 2. Who actually still has a 25' satellite???

Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.

Your fence is only aesthetically unpleasing for a short time. Your clothesline is ugly all the time.

Kansas City

Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely.

Those cap pistols are dangerous...

Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.

Cause they're just creepy

Marceline

Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.

You can smoke but if you're going to be a pyro you're screwed

Marquette

It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).

Does this mean there aren't any apartment buildings in Marquette??

Mole

Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.

So don't be a big meanie

Natchez

It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.

This makes me wonder...are there a lot of elephants in Natchez?

Purdy

Dancing is strictly prohibited.

I saw Footloose. Teenagers Unite!!

St. Louis

It’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.

Can I drink whiskey from a bucket??

A milk man may not run while on duty.

What if he's being chased by a herd of cats??

University City

Four women may not rent an apartment together.

3 or 5 is fine we just can't have 4

Houses may not have lights on them that shine into the window of a neighbor’s house.

It's called common courtesy people

It is illegal to request for someone to “watch over” your parked car.

Apparently there is no valet parking in University City

laws found at http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/missouri

Busy Busy Busy

People comment on how busy I am on a regular basis. Yes I know I am busy but am I really that busy? Busy enough that it is apparently a running joke among the people that know me?What is considered busy anyway?

Unless an emergency comes up I rarely feel overwhelmed. But, doesn't everyone feel overwhelmed during an emergency. I don't deal well with having nothing to do. Maggi doesn't function well without a crazy to do list. (No Kana I don't actually have a list.) Bad things happen. Like I start randomly babbling via blog. Or as a very last resort I clean. *shudder* Cleaning must be avoided at all costs. And if everyone thinks I'm super busy they'll ignore the fact that I haven't dusted in....ever. Not on purpose anyway. Any dusting was purely accidental on my part.

I have a very fine line between busy and all out mind blowing chaos. A little chaos I'm good with. Telling me that you are going to flip my entire world upside down whether I like it or not...not so much. I will dig my heels in. There are a couple of reasons for this:

1. I don't deal well with being told what to do. If I straight up tell you I want you to badger me about something I'm totally down with that. But, if I didn't you will get nothing but attitude from me. Because it wasn't my idea. 
2. I  have nothing for number 2. I guess the moral here is I am grumpy and stubborn. The only things I can think of to combat that won't fit on my to do list. So grumpy and stubborn I will stay! Because I am stubborn. And too grumpy to care. See how this is a vicious circle?

I'm off. I  have things to do.

My Brush With Death

I almost died today. It was scary and horrible. And kind of gross.....

It was a beautiful day the sky was a brilliant shade of blue with those huge fluffy clouds that seem so nice and happy but usually foreshadow a disastrous storm. I'm pretty sure I remember that from elementary school meteorology. It's entirely possible that I am wrong but it sounded good so just go with me on it. Weather girl is not in my resume.

OK back to the story. The weather was perfect with a little wind. The day had gone well. My grandmother behaved herself at her appointment. There was very minimal complaining. From her anyway I can't say thr same about the employees. I am fairly certain that people want to kill her wherever we go.

We were outside ready to get into the car. I was holding the wheelchair because I didn't want her to face plant on the pavement. I'm a good granddaughter like that. Plus I didn't have time to go to the ER.

So there I am holding onto the wheelchair for dear life. The wind started kicking up a little. Not much. Not enough to be alarming. I was laughing at the hilarity that is me. Mouth wide open kind of laughing. Out of nowhere my hair whips into my mouth! It is the perfect length to sit right on my trachea. It's blocking my air supply! And it tastes kind of gross!

I still have a firm grip on the wheelchair so I can't remove my hair. I'm going to choke to death on my own hair in the parking lot of the doctor's office. I know there is irony there somewhere. I wonder what the headline in the paper will say? Damnit Maggi focus you are dying here!!

Obviously I survived this harrowing experience. No one there today realized how close I came to death. No one understood the story they would have had to tell. That right belongs to me. I am so glad you, reader in my head, are able to experience it here with me. I live to tell a tale another day.

Me Talk Good

I am extremely articulate. I have a vocabulary that most people don't want and can't understand. My friend used to tell me his 5 cent brain couldn't understand my $10 words. But, at times I can very monosyllabic. There's a lot of yups in my repertoire. I wonder what that is all about.

I suppose it could have something to do with my chameleon-like ability to get along with anyone. I can hang with anyone from princes to thieves. And with the Prince of Thieves. Me and Robin Hood are old friends.

I don't even know where I'm going with this post. But, if I talk long enough I will get around to a point and you'll never know the difference. Or I will see something shiny and wander away. There is an equal chance of either of those things happening. Or both. Both is entirely possible.

Which makes me think about how I seem like a crazy person on a regular basis. I talk to myself. A lot. Out loud.In public.  9 times out of 10 I am not actually having a conversation with myself. I am repeating a conversation I have had with someone in the past. I don't even know why I do this. Even creepier...most of the time I don't even say anything out loud I just mouth the words. I do this during actual conversations too. I mentally review the last few words of every sentence that I or someone else says. I do this to keep track of the conversation because while you're telling me your plan on world domination I've already been through three entirely different topics beginning to end in my head. I will get bored and I will wander away otherwise.

I think that the prevailing theme here is communication. I both excel and fail at it. Which is true of just about everything in my life......is that a penny? Shiny!

Colorado Silly Laws

Dumb Colorado Laws

By state:

One may not mutilate a rock in a state park.
It's government property you know
No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. Repealed 2008: Colorado residents can now buy alcohol on Sundays
Voting and alcohol don't mix
It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
Good plan
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.
I'm moving to Colorado!
Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
You gotta go to Utah for that

City Laws in Colorado

Alamosa

Persons may not urinate in public.
Good idea
Throwing missles at cars is illegal.
Also a good idea
Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.
But can they live together?

Arvada

Establishments which sell alcohol must have enough lighting to read text inside them.
Cause who wants to buy booze in the dark

Aspen

Catapults may not be fired at buildings.
But it has always been my dream to storm the castle.

Boulder

Boulders may not be rolled on city property.
Those are seriously unimaginative pranksters.
Couches may not be placed on outside porches.
Not even wicker?? 
It is legal to challenge a police officer, but only until he or she asks you to stop.
On the next episode of Polite Criminals....
It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property.
Cause they spit.

Colorado Springs

It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
John Wayne rules

Cripple Creek

It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
I'm sorry sir we don't have any rooms available on the ground floor

Denver

You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
So I have to buy two cars now??
It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.
Rats should all die a vicious death. I will not be going to Denver.

The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.

Hang it where the dogs hang out that way they will be sure to read it,

It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

What about to my upstairs neighbor?

Durango

It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes “unbecoming” on one’s sex.

So....no ugly people???

Fountain

It is illegal to have a broken down car on private property or public right-of-ways

Where exactly am I supposed to put my broken down car then?

It is illegal to have weeds in your yard

The Beautification Society has spoken!

Logan County

It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.

Haven't you ever seen a romantic movie???

Louisville

Residents may not own chickens, but may own up to two turkeys.

Oh yeah that makes sense

Pueblo

It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.

But those dandelions never listen

Sterling

Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.

Say what???

Vail

It is illegal to crash into obstacles on a ski slope.

Also it is not wise

No one may keep junk close to someone else.

Define junk

Westminster

Do not allow somebody to park less than 2 feet from you, or you will have to pay a fine.

So now I'm responsible for what complete strangers do?

Don’t get lost between 9pm-4am, or allow somebody else to get lost while ‘operating’ your car because it is against the law

Cause we're sleeping and are not coming to look for you

Do not send a work crew in more than 1 vehicle in any residential district of the city because it is against the law

The city will now be providing clown cars for work crews

Laws found at: http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/colorado?page=0

Arkansas: Silly Laws

Silly Arkansas Laws:

By state:

It’s strictly prohibited to pronounce “Arkansas” incorrectly
Cause it's just annoying when you do
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
Women's Lib? What's that?
Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.
Someone buy Arkansas a dictionary
Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
Keep 'em in your swimming pool like normal people
The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
State official: "Alright river that's high enough. Don't make me arrest you."
Arkansas River: "Fine!" *stamps foot and stomps away*A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
What if you go with the Brittany Spears look? 

City Laws in Arkansas

Fayetteville

It is illegal to kill “any living creature”.
I guess the lawmakers in Fayetteville are Buddhist

Little Rock

Honking one’s car horn at a sandwich shop after 9 PM is against the law.
It scares the sandwiches
No one may “suddenly start or stop their car at a McDonald’s.
Lots of fender benders at McDonald's??
It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.
Do I really need to explain why?
Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
Prime time TV is important and must not be interrupted!
Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
Keep that behind closed doors where it belongs

Laws found at: http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/arkansas

Alaska: Silly Laws

Crazy laws in Alaska

Laws for the state:

It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
I'm sure the moose doesn't appreciate it either
Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
AVERT YOUR EYES!
While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
And a REALLY bad idea

City Laws in Alaska

Anchorage

No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car.
The hood or bumper are fine.
For all you would-be pranksters out there, it is illegal to string a wire across any road.
I never even thought about doing this...must find a state where it's legal
Persons may not live in a trailer as it is being hauled across the city.
How big are the cities in Alaska??
Clowns beware!
All the coulophobics go here.

Fairbanks

It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
Once again a REALLY bad idea.

Haines

Employers of bars may not let their bartenders serve while they are drunk themselves.
The bartender can't be drunk or the owner can't be?
A person may only carry a concealed slingshot if that person has received the appropriate license.
Very strict conceal and carry laws.
It is against the law to attempt to break any law in title 9 of the code (public peace, morals, and welfare).
HUH???.

Juneau

Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops.
Everyone knows flamingos only go to salons
Buildings that preserve scenic vistas are awarded �bonus points� by the government.
It's like SIMS 10.0

Nome

One may not roam the city with a bow and arrows.
Did you hear that Green Arrow!?!

Soldotna

Persons may not allow “attractive nuisances” to exist.
Ugly nuisances are fine

Laws found at: http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/alaska

Z: The Conformist

My son Z is a boy scout. He is very very good at being a boy scout. This past week at camp he was asked to be a part of the order of the arrow. I have absolutely no idea what that means but it's apparently a big deal. He is a joiner. He loves being a part of something. He loves the uniform and unity. The conformity of it all.

I have no idea where he gets this from. I am not a joiner. I am not a conformist. I don't even own a uniform and I don't have the slightest interest in being a part of something. I suppose if you only looked at my surface you'd probably think I was a typical soccer mom. I don't have a multi-colored mo hawk. I have very few visible tattoos. But, I am that way because I choose to be not because someone tells me too.

I am so proud of that kid though. He has made a choice as well. He chose to walk the path of the conformist. Despite the fact that I don't and I won't . He is unfailingly polite. He has the biggest heart of any boy I've ever met. And one day he will be great.

"Great at what?" you ask. I have absolutely no idea. I know that he will be a great man. I know that he will be a success at whatever he chooses to do. And, I can't wait to see the man he will become. Well, yeah I can. I keep telling him to stop growing up but he doesn't listen to his mother.

I know that he already inspires greatness in others. He inspires it in me. Every good decision I have ever made have been for and because of him. He asked me to quit smoking a couple of years ago. I quit cold turkey for the final time. He told me he's afraid I'm going to die from being too fat. I started my life changing get healthy journey for him. I'm going back to school so that he can have a better life.

He is my sun, my moon, my stars, my whole damn universe. He is the best thing I have ever done.

Crazy Dogs

These dogs are going to be the death of me. Every day it's some new and exciting issue. For instance Houdini AKA Mac can not only escape his collar in a matter of moments but a harness as well.

Big One has a serious plastic habit. The kind of habit that is going to put mom in the poorhouse. I have a very firm stance on substance abuse. I will not support your habit. But, these are MY remotes he is eating. What am I supposed to do but replace them. Three of them. That's right three. Do you know what that does to a dogs intestinal system. i can't talk about it here it's too graphic. Children may read this. He also ate a box of push pins. I'm still trying to figure out how that seemed like a good idea.

They keep sneaking up out of the dark at me. Mac is so black I can't see him if he's just standing in the shadows. I need to get him a glow in the dark collar. Cause that wouldn't freak me out at all. A collar bobbing along in the dark by itself.

I was laying in bed the other night. You know that feeling you get that someone is looking at you? I looked up and there was a yellow face looming out of the dark at me. I may or may not have screamed like a 13 year old Belieber.

Spekaing of bed. Every single noght I have to wrestle with a dog for my pillows. It's gotten to the point where I try to be all sneaky and get to them first. It's like "Excuse me! This is MY pillow! I bought it! You want a pillow? Go get a job! You could work security. Or I'm sure someone somewhere needs a hole dug."

And the worst....the very worst thing they have done? One of them ate my Tigger sock. I can't prove who did it so I don't know who to kill.

I wonder what will happen today.

A Brief Peek Into My Life As A Reader

I am a reader. I am a crazy reader. I used to get in trouble for reading so much. What can I say my stepmother has issues. Apparently she felt that bringing a book to the dinner table was wrong.Or rude...I don't know I was too busy reading to actually pay attention.

I don't remember a time when I didn't read. No one is really sure how I learned. I suspect it was related to sibling rivalry. As far as my mom knows I just started reading one day. The day we were driving down the road and I read a billboard. I was three. She almost wrecked the car.

I had a seventh grade reading level in kindergarten. So I was a free thinking, mouthy, intelligent, smart ass (basically me now just pint sized) five year old who could read better than the majority of high school graduates. My kindergarten teacher LOVED me....not. She was an evil old bat who told me there wasn't a Santa Claus as a punishment. Teachers never could handle me.

One of my math teachers brought my dad in for a conference because I was reading in his class instead of listening to him. I was in that conference it didn't go well for him. I had straight As and I wasn't disturbing anyone, I still don't know what his problem was. Actually, I do know. He didn't like that I was tutoring my classmates. Anotther problem I've head more than once. but, we'll get to that.

Around that time I had an English teacher who had us read for a portion of each of her classes. So like the last 10 minutes we would free read. And once a week we went to the library. She had us write down every day how much we read in that 10 minutes. She came to me and asked why I was reading a different book everyday. I told her that I read about a book a day so every class I would have started a new one. She told me to write down all the time I spent reading every day. She only asked me to do that once.

And all of this leads to the reason why I am technically a high school drop out. Why I am a statistic. The first day of my Junior year the school counselor announced to my mother that I didn't need to be there anymore. That I intimidated the teachers because I was teaching the classes. I held tutoring sessions in the halls between classes and I guiess was making a general nuisance of myself. So the powers that be got together and decided that since I didn't have enough credits to graduate I needed to drop out, get a GED, and go directly to college without passing go and no $200 for me. Maybe that's why I ended up working instead....

Did I mention that I am a reader?

The Three Tonys

I have a history with guys named Anthony or Tony. There have only been two but they each made a huge impact on my life.

The first is my sons biological father, Anthony. He was crazy. And not crazy in a good way like me. I'm talking put people in the hospital because they just happened to be there crazy. Before him I had a reputation as a bad ass. During that time everyone was afraid of me because I was the only person who would stand toe to toe with him.

This was the time in my life when I knew every police officer in this area because he was always getting arrested. For two and a half years I dealt with the police and court systems for him. For a year after that I dealt with thwm because of him. He stalked me. I ended up going into hiding for a year. But, I wouldn't change it for anything, out of that hell came my world. My son.

The second was Tony. He ruined my life in only seven months. It was all very efficient. Basically he lied to me about everything he ever said and I spent all of my money helping him take care of his son. The son he said had cancer. The son who not only didn't have cancer but that he hadn't seen in years. I trusted the wrong person and I got burned. A valuable lesson was learned.

I have recently allowed another Tony into my life. This one is older and kinda cute. He has a corny sense of humor and he pushes me to be my best. I want to kill him on a regular basis but I always feel better after I see him. His name is Tony Horton, of P90x fame. He also created a workout DVD plan called 10 Minute Trainer. It should be called 10 Minutes of Hell. You should try it.

To Zachery

Dear Zachery,

I just left you at Nana's house again. I cried as I drive away. After two and a half years I don't cry as often when I leave you. I can't decide if that is a good or bad thing, I know you hate it when I cry though.

I am writing this and posting it in a public forum in the hopes that when you hate me later you will understand that I loved you.That I love you still. That every decision I make, whether it seems like it to you, I make to try and make your life better.

I don't know if you'll even remember the conversation we had in the car a few weeks ago. The conversation when I told you for the first time details about our lives with your biological father. How crazy and abusive he was. How finding out I was pregnant gave me a light in a very dark world. You were the reason I didn't kill myself then and you are the reason I haven't killed myself now.

I have struggled with severe crippling depression my entire life. I don't always make the right decisions. Like trusting Tony. And doing everything possible including giving my last dime to help other people. I will never forgive myself for the bad decisions I made in helping him. Because, it led to you living with Nana I promise you at the time it was supposed to be temporary. But, then Nana gave you the kind of life I never could. And then Grannie and Papa needed me. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail here. If you have any questions about it ask Nana or Aunt Rissa or Uncle Josh or me.

I just want you to know that no matter what has happened or will happen I love you. You are my reason for being.

Mom

Sparkling Vampires vs Buffy the Vampire Slayer

If the Buffyverse and Twilight collided how would Buffy react to sparkly vampires? What are Joss whedon's thoughts on the series? These are the things I wonder about while I am driving.

I Googled it (remember this is essential to my writing process) and I found a cool video and short article here http://popwatch.ew.com/2009/08/06/joss-whedon-twilight/
You can go watch it on your own. I'm gonna do my own thing. I did watch it and it's worth the 53 seconds seeing Joss be Joss.

I suppose I should explain who Joss Whedon is to the uninitiated. Joss is a god in the world of movies and TV. I've been sitting here trying to come up with another way of describing him but I just can't. He wrote Toy Story and The Avengers. He created Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Firefly among other things. Google the man he will blow your mind.

One of Joss's main themes is very strong female characters. The first issue I see Joss having with Twilight is with Bella. She is a bit of a whiny twit through 3 1/2 books. I won't bore you with my rant about that. I'll save it for another post and bore you there. Buffy would chew her up and spit her out. Buffy had to kill her boyfriend in order to save the world and she didn't go off the deep end. She did get a little gloomy and had an attitude but come on wouldn't you? And then when Angel came back from hell and left her for her safety and the safety of the world, she not only kept going but saved the world again. She saved the world a lot.

I think if Buffy ever ran across a vampire that sparkled she would fall down and hurt herself from all the laughing. She is The Slayer. She also has her inner circle The Scoobies. She is surrounded by super powerful people. The ones that are normal people have more than once proven they are incredibly brave. Buffy and the gang have stopped powerful demons and even a god. In the end they even stop the source of all evil. Something tells me sparkling and being really fast aren't going to get them anywhere. Buffy would have them dusted in seconds.

Obviously Joss enjoys the romance of the Twilight series. He doesn't seem to have a lot of respect for the vampirism of them. Vampirism being a word I made up to describe the level of fear a vampire inspires. Edward is of course the worst. That whole brooding, whining, tragic thing doesn't inspire fear. It does make me want to smack him. And as pretty as Edward is he is nothing compared to Angel.

The Twilight vampires would be little more than a footnote in the Buffyverse. Probably used as an amusing plot point and nothing more. Buffy 1 Twilight 0

Blog Reflection

Our final English Comp assignment is to reflect on our blog up to now. So here it is....

I have enjoyed this ongoing assignment very much. I have made it into a very interactive process with my friends and family. I have been known to avoid doing other assignments in order to work on the 3 or 4 ongoing posts I'm usually doing.

If I have an idea on something that would make a good blog I immediately write it down. Usually along with a few key points I have come up with at the same time. Then I go back and flesh out the middle stuff. I've heard it said that it's all middle. Which honestly is usually where you find the good stuff. I mean isn't that the point of Oreos?

It's a good thing I do it that way because there have been lots of days where the inspiration just wouldn't come. Even with a blog idea the middle stuff wasn't jumping out at me. So I would go to my handy trove of unpublished posts and voila a post! This generally happens on Mondays. Of course by Monday night I'm usually back at it.

Otherwise, my process involves a lot of staring into space. I tend to edit as I go along because I can see what has been written in my head. My brain has CGI effects similar to the touchscreen monitors on NCIS LA. I also try to make sure that all my blog posts are interesting. My default is funny or amusing but even the serious posts should be interesting. There is nothing I dislike more than reading something that is dull and dry. I will not subject my readers to that.

I don't know that I have actually learned anything from this assignment. It has awakened my creative side though. I plan on continuing to blog well into the future. To me that is much more important.

What I Have Learned This Semester

This semester Summer 2013 I took Intro to Communication, English Comp, Algebra, and Keyboarding. Here is what I learned or didn't learn as the case may be.

Communications

I learned how to take and upload videos using a camcorder. I did not however learn to do it well. There have been some interesting videos of the ground and the sky. Also of my feet. It's like "Look at my pretty socks!" 

I have not learned how to communicate or speechify any better than I already did. If there's one thing Maggi knows how to do it is communicate.

English Comp

I learned how to ummmmmmm.....blog I guess. I did learn how important a quality teacher is. I also learned that even in an online setting people will come to me for help.

I can't even begin to tell you all the things I didn't learn in that class.

MOVING ON!

Algebra

I learned that algebra sucks. It gives me violent tendencies.OK I know I had violent tendencies before but that's not the point now is it? And it's a lot easier if you watch the videos that you didn't realize were available. Lucky me I figured this out on the very last day before finals. Since I taught myself how to do it all by studying problems I'd say I EARNED my B.

I did not learn anything that I believe will be helpful to me ever.

Keyboarding

I learned a ton in this class. I now know how to type properly. I also learned a few basics in Word. I may decide to take a similar class later to build on what I learned here.

Every single assignment was a learning experience here so I feel comfortable avoiding the things I didn't learn part.

So it was an interesting semester. I can't wait to see what next semester holds.

Dickerson Park Zoo

An essay for my English Composition class.

            As I was brainstorming for this essay I tried to think of the place where I had the most sense memory. What place, when I close my eyes, can I hear, smell, taste, and touch in my mind’s eye. My mind’s eye takes me to the zoo. I love the zoo. I have memories of the Dickerson Park Zoo that date back to my toddler years. They’re all jumbled up into one big kaleidoscope of memory. This is why I chose the Dickerson Park Zoo as my place.

            It has been a while since I’ve been there. I have been told they have made lots of changes recently so I took this as an excuse to go again. Of course I picked a day when it was 90 degrees so most of the animals were hiding in the shade. But, I had a fun time anyway.

            The Dickerson Park Zoo was established in 1922. It was not well funded and by 1975 it had become a liability to the city. Instead if tearing it down The Friends OF The Zoo was formed and it has been improving steadily since. It is now on the list of accredited zoos and aquariums. They have a program called Z.E.B.R.A. (Zoo Education Broadens the Realization of Animals) to teach the community about animals. There are also a lot of other community outreach events. In the next few weeks alone they have free summer Tuesday, Zoobilee (a concert at the zoo), and Mc Donald’s Dollar Day at the zoo.

            I’d like to take you through my trip over the weekend with a couple of side trips down memory lane. The first thing I saw when I drove in was the albino peacock. I parked quickly then chased it down to get a picture. As I was walking up to the main gates the smell of a skunk hit me. I know it isn’t a skunk though; oddly enough the smell comes from a maned wolf. The maned wolf is an animal that is oddly beautiful. That is if you are lucky enough to see it.  It looks a little like a big fox. The zoo has the maned wolf in a species survival plan along with Asian elephants and cheetahs.

            I passed by the flamingos without stopping. They’re pink they stand on one leg and they aren’t very interesting. Besides, one of my favorite places is the bridge that you walk over next. The creek and waterfall along with the craggy rock wall makes me feel like I am in a fairytale. You can feed the huge carp and catfish there in the creek.

            I came upon some animals I wasn’t familiar with called peccary. They look a little like warthogs. Up ahead we have spider monkeys and tropical birds. I read that the zoo has acquired a new cockatoo named Professor. His owner died and he will be used to help teach children. As a therapy bird he is used to being around people. Unfortunately I didn’t see him.

            There are red kangaroos lying in the sun. You’d think they’d be better acclimated to the heat. On the right is a petting zoo. As I walk along the path I start to notice the moist musky smell of decaying plants and warm earth. With just a hint of manure.

            When I got to the Missouri exhibit I was excited to finally see an animal moving around. The otters weren’t even playing in the water. But, the cougar was chasing a butterfly. He was not happy that I was there and started stalking me. Or maybe he was irritated by the peacocks screaming you always hear throughout the zoo.

            The wolves were also out prowling around. There were three of them and it was obvious that they were unhappy about something. I quickly realized it was because the zoo personnel were cleaning their habitat.

            The elephants were up moving around as usual. When I was a kid they used to have elephant rides. The giraffes too. I think the giraffes usually are because people are able to feed them crackers. Giraffes have rough tongues. Kind of a cross between a cow and a cat tongue.

            Around this time the sound of the train whistle starts invading my consciousness. It’s a cute little train that goes around the small lake where the lemurs live on an island. But, before I get there I’m headed to the reptile house. Right outside the doors is the bald eagle habitat. All the bald eagles were rescued after being injured. I love going into the reptile house and seeing how jumpy everyone is. I was in more danger from the cougar than these people are from those snakes.

            As I left the reptile house I smiled at all of the kids playing in the jumping water area. It’s a brilliant idea to cool off hot and cranky kids before moving on to more animals.

            One thing I do not like about our zoo is the hippo exhibit. It is basically a deep cement pit that was probably built in 1912 and it makes me sad every time I visit the zoo.

            Outside of the gates is a large park. It has lots of play equipment. When we were kids we would always stop there before going home. Especially when we went on school field trips. There are picnic tables and BBQ pits. When my son was little we would go to the zoo every weekend and it was always our last stop. I think now and in the future my memories will revolve around those trips with my son.

            The Dickerson Park Zoo is a place. It is a place that holds a special place in my heart. It may not be as big or as grand as some other zoos but it is a gem of Springfield.

            

Kana's Story

There once was a little girl named Kana who had a pet alligator. She knew it was an alligator because of the shape of it's snout. She was knowledgeable about things like that despite being such a little girl. She was a little girl with a thirst for knowledge who questioned everything. Which is why she named her gator Aristotle. Aristotle is considered the father of biology you see. The name was a little too high-minded for other children her age though. Of course being a small girl with a pet gator set her apart from her peers already.

Kana didn't care that the other children were leery of her. She had her books. "There isn't a better friend in the world than you can find in a book unless it's Aristotle," she was known to say. The two of them had grown up together as her parents had given him to her for his first birthday. 

She loved nothing more than to get dressed up, have her hair curled just right, saddling up her gator, and take off for the public library on Aristotle. No one ever worried about Kana going off alone because honestly who is going to bother a little girl with an overprotective gator as a pet.  

The town's people were none to happy about having an alligator tied up outside the public library but there wasn't a city ordinance against it. Kana didn't care what anyone thought. 

Her favorite area in the library was the non-fiction section. She would pick up books on philosophy, sociology, astronomy...basically anything that looked interesting. She was home schooled so she wasn't being restricted in her thinking like those poor kids that went to public school. 

She and Aristotle spent many days curled up under a tree reading the works of Plato. Aristotle loved hearing about Plato. They had the perfect childhood together there in the southern swamps.

Book Review VS Book Report

I was thinking about doing a book review as a blog post. Then I started thinking, cause you know that's something I do, isn't a book review really just a grown up version of a book report? If that is true why am I okay with doing a book review but despised book reports.

I decided to head to good old Google. (I'm hoping if I mention them enough they will start throwing money at me all willy-nilly) I Googled book review and I got this:

book review 

Web definitions

a critical review of a book (usually a recently published book).

wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

I Googled book report, it gave me the same information. I went to Wikipedia and typed in book report...it took me to book review. I typed it into Urban dictionary and it took me to Book. Not report or review, just book. I'm really not sure what to think about that Urban dictionary deal.

I thought about it a little more. I suppose the argument could be made that a book review are the true feelings of the writer rather than written in a way that someone else would want. I don't think that's true though because the majority of critics seem to base their feelings off of public opinion and what they think they SHOULD say versus what they WANT to say. I mean when was the last time you read a review that said, "Shakespeare bores me but I really dig those trashy romance novels." Personally I do that. I once wrote a book report about The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway. The first line in the report said, 'This is the most boring book I've ever read, And since I've read well over a thousand books at this point I believe I am an expert." What can I say I was a mouthy kid and things haven't changed much since.

Speaking of which...I think it has become obvious that I can do 300 or more words on just about anything.

What have we learned in this very important debate? There is no difference!!! People are out there getting paid to write book reports. Legally! We aren't talking about shady deals where a T-Bird is buying reports from the nerdy guy who is selling them to buy a motorcycle to impress Michelle Pfeiffer. (That's Grease 2 in case you didn't know.) These people are writing them for legitimate publications like The New York Times and Entertainment Weekly. Shout out to Stephen King!

Oh what a world we live in...

Flipped

I saw this bike on the side of the road this morning. It peaked my interest so much that I had to turn around and go back to take a picture. It's not the bike but the boots that sparked my imagination. There has to be a story here. Since I will never know what it is I've decided to make one up. 

If you asked him he'd tell you he didn't believe in silly things like magic and fairies. Then he'd tell you to leave him alone. He was a very gruff man. A loner. He was a man's man. The kind of man who wrestles alligators for fun. Who learned how to spit tobacco expertly and accurately in the cradle. Who was happier with a hammer in his hand than a dung beetle hanging out with an elephant herd.

He was riding down the country highway on an unseasonably cool July morning, heading to his construction job. Wearing his typical uniform of worn jeans, black t-shirt, and boots. Deep in thought about what he would be doing on the weekend. Camping and fishing, but not that silly campsite camping that was all the rage now. No he would be doing some real camping, deep in the woods, just him and his tent. No one would know where he was or even that he was gone.

He lived alone. No way was he going to put up with some silly woman who thought that she belonged anywhere but in the home doing women's work. He hadn't been able to find a woman that would put up with his misogynistic views.

Suddenly he was hit in the face. Hard! It had to be a huge bug because it was still there and he couldn't see! Using the skills born of long practice he pulled his bike to the side of the road and put down the kickstand. Reaching up he grabbed the thing clinging to his face and pulled it off. He looked down at his hand and gave a scream that would make Janet Leigh gasp with envy.

There in his hand was a perfectly shaped miniature person. Except...it had wings! And it looked just like him!  But it was barefoot. What in the world was going on? His miniature looked at him and said "It literally took a slap in the face for you to notice. Alright buddy lets go" With a snap of his tiny fingers they both disappeared.  Or so it seemed. In reality they had merged into one tiny barefoot fairy standing on the side of the highway.

He looked up. Way up at his boots and even further beyond to his motorcycle. Then he fainted.

When he came to he was looking into the face of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She had perfect features, ebony long flowing hair, and tobacco juice rolling down her chin. He jerked his head back in surprise and it slammed against the ground. The dirt ground....he had fainted on pavement. "Where am I?" he demanded.

The tobacco stained winged creature said, "Look buddy you need to change your tone. We don't allow our menfolk to talk back. Now I'd suggest you get off your lazy butt and start cooking."

The big bad mysognistic biker wasn't in Kansas anymore.....

Am I A True Gemini?

I have been doing a lot of self analysis essays for school. It made me wonder what my zodiac sign says about me. I am a Gemini. A twin. They say Gemini's have a lot of contradictory traits. The yin and yang of the zodiac I guess you could say. I found a list of positive and negative traits of a Gemini to see how I stack up. The vague characteristics are in red my thoughts on how it fits me are black. Running point tally in blue.

Positive traits

Adaptable
Open-minded and easy-going that they are, the Gemini are adaptable individuals as the desire to enjoy each moment run deep in them. 

I am definitely adaptable. My brother once told me I have the ability to be whatever I need to be in any situation.  

Yes-1 No-0

Versatile
A wide variety of subjects interests them, and hence, the Gemini will try their hands at many different things. They will not get stuck in a fixed routine. 

Oh I am interested in so many different things that people can't keep up. I'm always changing the focus of my obsessions as well.

Yes-2 No-0

Enthusiastic
The Gemini are one enthusiastic lot! They are always up for doing something new and exciting, and their enthusiasm is often infectious. 
Guilty! I love trying new things. And I'm like the pied piper leading other people along.
Yes-3 No-0

Eloquent
Blessed with excellent communication skills, the Gemini are eloquent people. They can sale anything to almost anyone! 
Ok first of all it is sell not sale. Second ya'all know I can talk. I'll talk to a fence post if I think it is paying attention.
Yes-4 No-0

Witty
The Gemini can easily impress you with their wit and humor, leaving you entertained. Besides, their spontaneity adds to their natural charm. 
Oh you know I'm funny! And spontaneous. Well I'm spontaneous when I have the time to be. 
Yes-5 No-0

Intellectual
Since they are always interested learning about as many subjects as they can, the Gemini make an intellectual lot. These smart and sharp individuals will not shy away from voicing their opinions. 
Honestly do I even need to say anything here?
Yes-6 No-0

And now for the negative traits. As much as I like to pretend that I am perfect I suppose I must admit I have them.

Negative traits

Inconsistent
The Gemini are so sharp and quick that it is difficult for them to stay interested and engaged in the projects they start off. Such inconsistency is their major weakness. 

Oh yes, this is far too true of me. I'm flighty. 

Yes-7 No-0

Superficial
The Gemini-born are often labelled as superficial people because of their inability to delve deep and pay attention to details. 
Hmmmm...I don't know that I would be considered superficial. Although I do have major issues with paying attention to details. I shall give it a half point
Yes-7.5 No-0.5

Indecisive
Whenever they are supposed to decide something, the Gemini are invariably in two minds. Their indecisiveness sometimes costs them lucrative opportunities in life. 
I am very indecisive. I will over think whether I should kick the bucket or not when that time comes. But, once I make a decision I stick with it.

Yes-8.5 No-0.5

Lack of Focus
The Gemini can get bored very easily, which is a direct consequence of lack of focus. Their energies are often scattered. 
I've barely made it through this list without wandering off. 
Yes-9.5 No-0.5

Nervous
The Gemini are energetic but have a tendency to bite off more than they can chew. This leads to nervousness and makes them fickle. 

I AM NOT FICKLE! Sorry that irritated me. I can see how people would see me as nervous excitable. Half point.

Yes-10 No-1

Well I don't think we can argue about it any longer. It is definitive. I am a Gemini. A lovely, fun, passionate Gemini.

Twilight Rant

Yes this is a rant. I am sure it will annoy some people. That's kind of the point of a rant. I have read all of the Twilight books and seen all of the movies. They really are well written books with a fairly unusual plot. My issue with them is that they are marketed to teenage girls. In particular I have a problem with New Moon.

In New Moon Edward breaks up with Bella in order to protect her. Bella's response to this was to go into a deep depression and wander around like a zombie for months. She starts coming out of this depression not by pulling up her big girl panties but because of another guy. That would be Jacob.

Then she realizes that if she puts herself on the brink of death she can see Edward's ghost or image or something. Evidently Bella doesn't have much of an imagination and must put her life at risk to be able to see him. Which in itself is kind of crazy.

So, she's running around trying to kill herself. Edward hears that she's dead and he decides to kill himself. This is some messed up Romeo and Juliet teenager crap. You'd think a vampire who is over 200 years old would know that LIFE GOES ON!

In the other books Edward is always saving Bella. She has that whole indecisive love triangle thing. She wants nothing more than to die and become a blood thirsty fiend despite everyone fighting against the idea. Her boyfriend stalks her and sneaks into her room to watch her sleep. She does finally stands up for herself and her child in the last book.

Basically what this teaches teenage girls is that all you need in life is a guy. A guy to protect you. Then a guy to fix you. That love and your personal feelings are all that matter. These girls need some real role models.

I am Maggi Bowers

In my communications class we were supposed to make a list of our traits. Things that tell people about who we are then determine how they affected our communication. We were supposed to give an identical list to someone close to us and write a report about our communication style. This is that report.

The first thing I noticed with this list is that I listed mostly positive traits. So apparently even though I am incredibly hard of myself I have high self-esteem. Just one more contradiction in the world of Maggi. But, we are here to talk about my communication skills not my many contradictory personality traits.

I gave this list to my friend Kana because I don’t have one of those significant others you hear so much about. The things on my list were dedicated, responsible, funny, caring, compassionate, loves to read, intelligent, passionate, busy, resilient, a survivor, workaholic, weird, empathetic, has a short attention span, is easily bored, and stubborn. I’ve always believed that my best traits are also my worst and vice versa. It all depends on the circumstances.

Dedicated and responsible can be bundled together. As a nurse I receive medical questions from friends and family regularly. I believe that these traits affect my communication in that I always make my friend’s and family’s questions and problems a priority. As my friend said, “You always get back to me when I have a question; you take every question seriously…so even something that isn’t a huge deal you make it a top priority to answer ASAP.”

I am funny. There’s no doubt about that. It is one of the first things that people say when they describe me. I always try to keep things humorous when I am communicating. I like intellectual humor though. Because I am intelligent. Which goes along with my love of reading. All of these things make me witty and well-spoken. That gives me power. The power to help others. By making them smile or through the knowledge I have as a nurse.

I am caring, compassionate, and empathetic. This helps me to understand when someone doesn’t understand and to figure out a way to help them. For instance breaking the medical jargon down into understandable speech. I saw a cartoon the other day where a nurse was standing behind a doctor holding a sign that said “Just nod I’ll explain when he leaves.” This is a perfect example.

I am passionate. I jump head first into everything. If there is a topic I feel strongly about I can talk about it competently and intelligently from the lofty perch of my soap box. My brother loves to make me mad because the madder I am the more passionate and articulate I get. I will expound on whatever the topic is until I notice the mischievous twinkle in his eye.

I am busy and a workaholic but as my friend says never too busy to answer questions or just check in to make sure everything is ok. I believe this makes me blunt and straight to the point. I don’t have time for a lot of hemming and hawing. I also have a short attention span and I am easily bored this means I don’t have a lot of patience for the “social niceties” like small talk. I don’t have the patience for shyness or fear.

I am weird, resilient, stubborn, and most of all a survivor. I may make communication faux pas. In fact I guarantee that I do. I don’t think it would be possible to have my personality and not step on a few toes. But, I have survived things that most people can’t even begin to imagine. I may or may not be stronger for it but there’s nothing in life that will ever be bad enough that it would stop me. Oh, I slipped up and called someone by the wrong name? Oh, well. I actually do this on a regular basis. I will make a joke about it and we can laugh and move on, or not. Your choice.  But, I promise you I will make you laugh. And if it’s something I think you need to know I will be stubborn enough to make you listen whether you want to or not. You don’t have to take my advice but you will hear it.

All in all I have a strong personality. But, everything that I do. Every decision I make. Every day that I get up and work then come home and work some more. All of that comes from a place of caring. Because I am Maggi Bowers.

Idle rambling

I currently have five blog posts that I am working on but I am suffering from a severe case of I don't wanna. So I think I will ramble aimlessly. Maybe inspiration will strike. 

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I slept way in. Then took my grandma to the doctor. Came home and got some cleaning done. Then out of the blue I got a notification that I had some student loan reimbursement money available. This was the best news. I paid off some stuff that was hanging over my head and causing me massive stress. Then I went shopping. I bought stuff I needed and some stuff I didn't. The thing I'm really excited about is I got my sons birthday present. He's getting a mp3 player and I have to work on putting a bunch of music on it. 

I spent more time on the mp3 thing yesterday than I should probably admit to. After that I went to the city aquatic center. My church had rented it out for the community. Watching all those people try to surf on the huna was hilarious.

I got home and my dogs had left three toys on my pillow. I guess they love me.....

I don't know I'm feeling pretty blah today. I'm trying the gluten free thing to see if that helps me at all. I really hope it does although it is a very strict lifestyle I'm tired of feeling like crap. 

Speaking of I must go do some Algebra. Yuck! I really want Algebra to die a slow and violent death. It always makes me feel like a moron. See ya.

Shadow

I was pushing my patient in his wheelchair today. I try to do this everyday. I was feeling awesome and fit because pushing a 100+ pound person for two hours ain't easy. Heck walking all by your lonesome for two hours is no picnic.

I'm bopping along enjoying the beautiful weather and fresh air. Rocking out to the music coming out of my headphones. Pretty much just loving life. Then I make the mistake of looking down. There, on the ground,  is my shadow.

I look like one of those weeble's wobble guys from Alice In Wonderland. The Disney psychadelic version; not the Tim Burton-I must turn everything into a nightmare-version.

At this point my brain has split into two parts. The first is freaking out because it looks like someone shoved ships sails down the side of my pants. The other is trying to figure out what those weeble guys are called. I know me; this will drive me crazy until I figure it out or my ADHD kicks in and I'm off to obsessing about something else.

Hmmmmm...now that I think about it my mind is a lot like Alice's Wonderland...just less acid trippy.

Focus Maggi focus! You are trying to tell a story here.

Meanwhile, in  the past, I am freaking out. Must not sob uncontrollably in front of patient. This is generally seen as unprofessional. Crunches! I must do crunches! No more carbs! No more cake! No more food! I will never eat again until I am skinny and concave!

Or......I could just shift to the right. Problem solved! No more shadow! Whew that was close!

Where is the cake??

Great Leaders Part 1: Perseverance

Our pastor has started a new series on leadership. It inspired me to blog. Sort of an homage. No copyright infringement meant Pastor Chad. *giggle*

Let's talk a little about leadership. It has been said that each person will influence over 10,000 people in their lifetime. This is like 7 degrees of separation on steroids. So are you influencing people in a positive way? Are you a great leader? What makes a great leader?

 Pastor Chad says he believes there are certain traits that great leaders possess. These are what he will focus on over 4 sermons. This week's trait was perseverance. Never quit, never say die. We tend to think of this in grand ways. In fact the bible story he used to illustrate this trait was one of those. A lone man fighting alone in a pea patch against an entire army: It was harvest day in this village. The peas were the farmers sole source of survival. The army was marching in to take them. A warrior who had no personal interest in the harvest fought against impossible odds to save them. I had never heard this story before but I will never forget it because apparently Pastor Chad thinks you hold a sword in a batters stance and that made me giggle.

Perseverance comes in quiet ways as well. People who soldier on despite great hardships. I find those people to be even more inspiring. Those farmers who toiled every day to grow those peas. Their only source of recognition is the battle that happened in their fields. But, if it wasn't for people like them those high profile warriors wouldn't eat.

Perseverance means never giving up. Thomas Edison said "I start where the last man left off." It took him many tries to perfect his inventions. And he never stopped inventing. He held 1,093 patents in his name.  

But in order to succeed you must begin. Success does not come to the weak of heart. Things are going to get difficult. "Trying times are not the time to quit trying." According to Pastor Chad there are 3 keys to being a person who perseveres:

1. Give all that you have, not more than you have
2. Be determined
3. Quit when the job is done, not when you are tired

There are no guarantees of success. You may give your all and fail. But you can't succeed at something you never try. And if you put your all into it you are setting yourself up for success. 

 My mind keeps going to great leaders in our countries history. No one person could make changes alone. They inspired others to follow them and stand firm beside them. This led to smaller levels of perseverance and leadership. It is the difference between Martin Luther King Jrs "I Have A Dream" persona and the people who fought for his dream. We remember the image of the children who crossed the barriers in Arkansas to integrate the first public school. Have you ever considered the perseverance it would take to get up every morning and continue to go to that school after the National Guard and TV cameras left?

Be the person that inspires others to follow. Encourage others to live their dreams. Surround yourself with good people. And never ever give up.