Dogs dogs dogs

My dogs are going to be the death of me. I've had the yellow one, Big One, for over a year. He is sweet and well behaved. I got the black one, Mac, less than two weeks ago. He is sweet but not well behaved. I don't know what possessed me to get another dog. Apparently going to school full time, working 50+ hours a week, being a mom, taking care of my grandmother, and being very active in my church wasn't enough for me. Luckily I thrive on chaos.

Mac thinks he is Houdini. Evidently going outside to him is some sort of torture that is illegal under the Geneva Convention. Biggun' would never come inside if he I'd let him. My grandmother is convinced that having them in two separate places makes them sad. So I'm constantly shifting them back and forth inside and outside. I have to put Mac on a chain. Two acres of fenced in yard and he will escape if you put him in it. 

I have learned that laying down in my bed is seen as a sign of submission by these guys. The minute I lay down all rules go out the window. I can hear them singing "No king! No king! La La La La!" like the hyenas in  The Lion King. I wonder if one if them speaks in the voice of Whoopi Goldberg.

Mac evidently thinks that I am most lonely anytime I sit down I have a face full of doggie breath. Too bad he doesn't have opposable thumbs, I could teach him how to brush his teeth. And maybe how to STAY IN THE YARD.

Mac is so black that unless he is standing in direct light you can't see him. Which is how he keeps sneaking up on me. I will have a heart attack one of these times. When I fall over dead I'm sure they will think it is play time. Or from tripping over him because when he isn't hiding in the dark he has to be right next to or in front of me.

In the last two weeks I have been stepped on, sat on, and almost had my fingers ripped off. I have cuts and bruises all over my body from dealing with this dog. I have had to adjust my schedule completely so they can spend some time outside more than once a day. Everything I own is covered in a mix of yellow and black hair.....yup it's love.