Marriage and marriage equality are essential

I am sitting in the hospital with my friend. We are the Trouble twins so she will forever from this moment forward be known as Trouble2 or T2. I have been thinking today about how important marriage and marriage equality are in medical situations.

Yesterday I had trouble hunting her down in the hospital. Since her family decided to just abandon her in the hospital she was alone dealing with a heart attack for eight hours. Granted I am just her best friend but lets imagine she had been my long term girlfriend/boyfriend. In some cases I wouldn't even be allowed in my partners hospital room.

I would have no rights to speak to the doctor. I would not be notified in case of an emergency. I would not be allowed to make the tough decisions if something horrific happened. All of these rights would go to his/her next of kin.

In the event that something horrible happened I wouldn't have the rights to plan the funeral. Or receive any benefits. In the case that he/she was a veteran I wouldn't receive my partners flag.

You may think that a marriage certificate is just a piece of paper. You would be wrong. That is like saying as a parent that a birth certificate is just a piece of paper. That paper gives you rights as a parent that you wouldn't have otherwise.

It is time as a country to start changing our views on marriage. Marriage should become important again. Shacking up isn't going to cut it anymore. The people that are fighting for the rights that we take for granted need to be legally allowed those rights. The time for change is now!

Is this about you or me?

    I asked my friend what I should blog about today and she said "me" in her weak I'm lying in a hospital bed voice. That made me giggle cause I'm twisted like that so here is her blog.
    I got a text from my bestie at 4am. I of course didn't receive it until 8 because I chose to be lazy today. I texted and called her but when I didn't get an answer I called the hospital and they said they were admitting her but didn't know where to yet. So I went about the things I needed to do. She texts me and says she will be getting a heart cath and be admitted to the ICU in 20 minutes. I drop the groceries I was carrying into the vegetable crisper and take off out of the store. I have no idea what they call the place they keep the vegetables in stores. I'm also sure that the vegetable guy was thrilled with me.
   I get to the ER and they tell me she's already been moved to ICU. So I get to ICU and no friend. I wait for an hour and go to find out what the heck is going on. They take me to the cath lab after I used my best you will not walk all over me voice. Which, if I do say so myself, is pretty awesome. Her family isn't there and no one knows where they are. I finally got ahold of her mom and found out they hadn't been to the hospital at all! By this point it's 11 am so my poor friend has been at the hospital by herself for at least 8 hours. Yeah I wasn't happy. 
    So back to ICU I go. Her heart stent had closed off. They reopened it and restented it. Her mother finally shows up and I left to get some things done while she was sleeping. On my way out I stopped in the bathroom. I walk in the door and the light comes on by itself. I take one step and the paper towel holder shoots out a paper towel. Obviously the bathroom is haunted. When I came back later and was telling my friend about it her nurse said "It wouldn't surprise me" My only thought was DUDE!!!
    Why do people buy sports cars if they don't know how to drive them? I watched a guy turn a u-turn in a Corvette into a three point turn. Ok so I'm rambling now. My friend is doing good except for the pain and the fact that she has had to lay flat on her back for 8 hours to keep her from getting a blood clot or bleeding to death. 
   This post kind of turned into being about me.....

Can you hear the beat?

I Believe In Marching to the Beat of My Own Drummer

            I believe in marching to the beat of my own drummer. This includes but is not limited to:

•          doing what I believe is right even if it isn't popular.

•          standing up for the little guy

•          using my God given skills to help others

•          believing in things with every fiber of my being

•          never being embarrassed

•          never being shy

•          running headfirst into situations that others run from

•          jumping off the cliff and dealing with the consequences

•          always dealing with the consequences of my own actions and not blaming others

•          equality for everyone

•          accepting people for who they are as long as it doesn't hurt themselves or others

•          I always end up on my feet even if I fall flat on my face and have to climb back up again

•          being willing to die for the people I love and the things I believe in

            I am an individual. What does that mean to me? Some might say I am a rebel. OK in reality some HAVE said I am a rebel. I don’t consider myself to be a rebel though. To me a rebel is someone who does things solely for the purpose of being rebellious, to gain attention. Which I think is also most peoples definition of an individual as well. Most think of an individual as someone who dresses differently. I once heard someone say that individuality is the new conformity. To me being an individual means following my personal code of ethics and honor. Whether or not it is popular or in some cases legal.

 My personal code of honor and ethics states that I do what I believe is right regardless of the consequences. I also believe in always dealing with the consequences of my decisions and actions personally. I will not put that at anyone else’s feet. A doctor I used to work for always said if I was ever going to get into trouble as a nurse it would be from being a patient advocate. In other words standing up for the little guy.   

            I can’t stand bullies. I could give you multiple examples of standing up against bullies for other people. I think the most classic and dramatic instance happened when I was eleven. My disabled nine year old brother was being beaten up by three thirteen year old boys. I threw myself into the fray to protect my brother. Yes I walked away without a scratch while they were hurting but that’s not the point. I didn’t know going in to that fight that I would be okay. All I knew was that my brother was in trouble and I have no problem dying for the people that I love.

That stringent code involves equality for all people. Right now I stand for marriage equality. Fifty years ago I would have fought to stop segregation and Jim Crow laws. A hundred years ago I would have been a suffragette. 250 years ago I would have fought for the freedom of our country. I accept people for who they are. That is what our country was founded on. As long as you aren’t hurting yourself or others we are cool.

I was born to be a nurse. I am not a nurse because it is a job or a means to earn a paycheck. I am a nurse because it is who I am. I am a nurse twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. My friends always laugh about coming to me with their “Am I and/or my kid dying” questions. That’s even what they call them now.

            I don’t believe in being shy or embarrassed. I think it is a huge waste of time. I have never met anyone that has ever gained anything by being a shrinking violet. I suppose that goes along with running headfirst into situations that other people run from. My friend said the other day that I dominate and others hesitate. But, that is a double edged sword. More times than I can count I have been in a situation where I have jumped off the cliff and dealt with the consequences. I have been knocked down flat on my face. Bruised, battered, and broken metaphorically and literally.  There is not one situation that has or will keep me down. I am a fighter. A survivor.

            When I follow this list of personal beliefs I can go to bed every night with a smile on my face.  After all “Well behaved women seldom make history.”

Knowing my audience

     Last week we played twenty questions in English Comp. The idea being to get to know everyone a little bit better. I feel like the questions and answers were fairly typical of the values in this part of the country. Although, honestly, I have to wonder how many people were "playing it safe" since this was a class assignment.  I saw this assignment as more of a sociological experiment rather than a meet and greet.
 
      I personally found the favorite quote post to be the most revealing. Since the majority of quotes are humorous or inspiring there isn't a right or wrong answer. If I say my favorite quote is "Remember to be yourself...unless you suck" by Joss Whedon there isn't a lot of room for getting upset. The only people I see getting upset are the people who suck and they needed a wake up call anyway.

     With questions like what are you thankful for I think there's a little more judgement going into how people read your answer. I mean most people are going to say I'm thankful for my family because there are societal expectations. If you say "Screw my family I'm thankful for chocolate!!" people will probably think you have all kinds of problems. Not the least of which is that you seem to have some some anger issues. And that you might be addicted to chocolate. They have programs for those sort of things.

     I do think all in all there are a ton of family values in our class. There was a resounding over all theme of family. Our family's being the place we feel the most at home. Because home is where the heart is. Not that pile of brick and glass you sleep in.

     I did come to the conclusion that our class aka my audience to know has a very well developed sense of humor. This will impact my writing in that I can be just a little edgier and push the envelope just a little bit further. I look forward to it.

About Shitty First Drafts

I read Shitty First Drafts by Anne Lamott. I felt that it paralleled the ideas of freewriting we read about in Freewriting by Peter Elbow in that you write whatever you feel. Throw the cards up in the air and see where they fall. 

I like the idea of putting down all your thoughts on to paper. Even though they may be seemingly worthless, silly, or inane. Mixing them up with what you feel to be brilliant bits of prose. All of this pouring out of you in one fell swoop. Because there is good and bad writing inside us all. The worthless and inane, possibly insane, thoughts may turn out to be your brightest gems. But, what you originally believed to be brilliant could end up lining the bottom of your birdcage (if you have ever read or seen the Anne Of Green Gables series then you'll understand what I mean. Anne always felt that the $20 words should  be used when a good old nickel word would have sufficed. She generally ended up sounding like a blooming idiot).

I am also a big fan of using humor as often as possible. The author and I seem to have a similar dark, sarcastic, and twisted sense of humor. As I  was scanning different pieces to decide which one I wanted to submit as my offering I ran across this final paragraph. "A writer friend of mine suggests opening the jar and shooting them in the head. But I think he's a little angry, and I'm sure nothing like this would ever occur to you." I was immediately hooked! I jumped to the beginning of the story praying that it would somehow work as the topic for my assignment. Joy of joy it would! I found the advice that went along with the jar shooting incident to be very helpful. Basically she is trying to find a way to quiet all the doubters voices she hears in her head. She was given the advice to isolate each individual voice and imagine the person speaking to be a mouse. I personally will imagine them to be anything but a mouse as mice give me nightmares. I think they will become crickets chirping away with their opinions. Anyway, you are then supposed to pick them up one by one and drop them into the jar. Watch all the mouse/cricket people trying to get out so they can tell you how wrong you are for not giving them everything they want. Turn the volume control on the jar all the way up. I'm not sure why the jar has volume control or why you would even why you would want a jar with volume control but whatever. Listen to them for a moment then turn the volume all the way down and get back to what you need to be doing.

I don't think this piece could have gotten any more personal. I feel like this writer pours her soul into everything she does even if it is a shitty first draft of a review of a bad restaurant. I hope to be able to do the same.

horrible day

 I woke up thinking today would be just like any other day. Then as it turned out I was running late for work. So, I'm running around trying to get to work as quickly as possible. I remember thinking while I was in the shower that I needed to start saving up for a new car. As I'm driving down the highway my car makes a vaguely odd noise. Before I could even finish the thought, "Hmmm...that sounds odd,"  my car makes a horrible gut wrenching KABLANG! I literally felt the transmission kick all the way down the car. White and grey smoke is pouring out from under the hood. I manage to make it to the right shoulder and turn on my flashers.

     I immediately start making phone calls. I can't call work because the answering service will answer. I might as well not waste my time. I call my patient's mom and leave a voice mail. Then I start calling my mom. First her cell, then her home phone, then her husband's cell, then her cell. Her cell again and again and again. Finally I left her a not so nice voice mail. Luckily my best friend answered HER phone and came to pick me up.

     When she got there I sent her to get a basket to put all the junk from my car in. I didn't want to leave my car because the way my luck was going they would have towed it with all my stuff inside. At this point I've been sitting on the side of the road for an hour and a police office finally stops to see if I need help. Then he left me there. 

     I went to my bank to see about getting a car loan. What they didn't tell me is it would take 2-3 days to decide whether or not I qualify. Ummmm....I need a car now not next week. I can't do my job without a car. On to option two which is being turned down by a regular car lot. 

     Option 3 a Buy Here Pay Here We Don't Care About Your Credit Because We Will Charge You Three Times As Much lot. The good news is I got a trade in for my sad blown up car. So now I have an increase in my insurance and a car payment. Oh and I have to pay the library for the book on tape CD that the CD player kept as some sort of sacrifice.

      How did this week end up with two Mondays?

My personal credo

I believe in marching to the beat of my own drummer. This includes but is not limited to:

• doing what I believe is right even if it isn't popular. 
• standing up for the little guy
• using my God given skills to help others
• believing in things with every fiber of my being
• never being embarrassed
• never being shy
• running headfirst into situations that others run from
• jumping off the cliff and dealing with the consequences
• always dealing with the consequences of my own actions and not blaming others
• equality for everyone
• accepting people for who they are as long as it doesn't hurt themselves or others
• I always end up on my feet even if I fall flat on my face and have to climb back up again
• being willing to die for the people I love and the things I believe in

42

      

     I went with my best friend to see 42 The Jackie Robinson Story yesterday. This movie was well worth the $3.50 I paid for my ticket (thanks to our local second run theater that just happens to have the best popcorn in town.) It would have been worth ten times that amount. 

    

      If for some reason you've been living in a cave since 1947 here's a rundown of the story. In 1945 World War II had ended. African American war heroes came home to find that Jim Crow laws and segregation were still firmly in place. The owner of the Brooklyn Dodgers organization decided it was time for baseball to be integrated. So he chose a player named Jackie Robinson to bring into the Dodgers minor league team. Against great odds and prejudice, in and outside of his own team, Jackie Robinson proved himself to be good enough to play major league baseball. On opening day 1947 he stepped onto the field as the first African-American professional baseball player.

     This movie was amazingly well done. The only "big name" actor was Harrison Ford as the Brooklyn Dodgers owner Branch Rickey. Mr. Ford embodied the character so well that I almost didn't recognize him. I personally think that this was a huge benefit to the movie as it almost made you feel like you were watching history unfold. 

     One of the themes of the movie that really stood out to me was the courage that was displayed. Not just by Jackie Robinson but by many of the characters. 

• Mr. Rickey put his entire livelihood on the line in order to integrate baseball. He could have continued to sit on his laurels and done nothing. 
• Mrs. Robinson stood beside her husband every day knowing that their futures were totally uncertain. 
• The families that Jackie Robinson stayed with when he wasn't allowed into hotels. They put themselves, their homes, and their families in jeopardy just by having them in their homes. 
• Then there were his teammates. The picture above is an iconic scene from the movie. The player wearing the #1 jersey was Pee Wee Reese. He was from Kentucky and had received a letter threatening him if he played with Jackie Robinson in Cincinnati. By putting his arm around Jackie he was making a statement to his family in the stands.
•  And of course there was Jackie Robinson. I'm not sure I am capable of putting in to words the courage it must have taken to deal with all he did on a national stage. I will let the movie speak for itself. But just try to imagine how it would feel to have hundreds of death threats against you and your family, have millions of people calling you vile names, having fastballs deliberately thrown at your head, and you can't fight back.

     I also learned things from this movie. I only knew the basics of his life. I did not know that the number 42 is the only number to be retired from all of baseball. Or that every April every major league baseball player wears the number 42 in honor of him. Jackie Robinson only wanted to play baseball and instead he changed history.

I believe this is a very odd list

So I am free writing about the things I think about from this is a very odd list. The big thing for me will be to remember not to correct myself as I go along. Um um um if I knew how to type betteer that might be easier but I don't so I'll just have to soldier on. I swear someone is always moving the keys around on my keyboard. Muggle baiting I am sure. why isn't Muggle approved in the spell check dictionary? if you know whaat Muggle bailtting isa I am sure you and I would be grand friends. I love reading abd Harry Potter is just so amazingly well written. I wonder if jo ever freewrote. Is freewrote a word? Not according to spell check but what does spell check know? Not a whole lot I can assure you. I wonder who the spell check employees are. It sounds like aa wickedly dull job. But maybe they recruit the national spelling bee champions to work there. Cause reaally is spelling bee champ a marketable skill? I saw a cartoon today of a recent graduate interviewing for a job. The interviewer says well you did very good in school but what kind of real world skills do you have and the graduate said I'm very good at taking tests. Because there are no tests in real life and life is not multiple choice. actually the real workd tests are a lot like nursing school tests. 4 right answers and you have to pick the one that is the most right. i don't know what possessed me to think IO would want to go through that againb. temporary insanity I suppose. My hands are stariting to go numb here. I always feel sorry for frost bite victims whne my hand or foot falls asleep cause honestly imagine how much worse the pain musst be for your body to "wake up" from being frozen.


Word count 325

I believe

I believe that puppies are cute
I believe that angels are real
I believe that I am a good nurse
I believe that reading is fun
I believe that my son is the best kid around
I believe that I don't know how to type
i beelive that learning how to type is pointless
I believe that spelling is important
I believe that I am rambling
I believe that I feel silly
I believe that ten minutes is an eternity
I believe I will pass my algebra test
I believe that I am sleepy
I believe that I may not be doing this assignment correctly
I believe I will keep going
I believe that I am slightly arrogant
I believe that the fan is turning
I believe in equality
I believe in justice
I believe my back hurts
I believe that green is my favorite color
I believe that I want to go home
I believe that ten minutes is a seriously long time
I believe that I like the picture on my blog
I believe that this is not what most people would think of as a blog post
I believe that I don't like small dogs
I believe that I am breathingis
I believe that I have the hiccups
I believe that those two things do not coexist compatibly
I believe that my mind just went blank
I believe that is a very rare occurance
I believe my family will one day drive me completely insane
I believe my grandma is nutty as a nut lovers fruit cake
I believe that my feet are big
I believe that this is a very odd list
I believe I forgot to eat my celery and carrots
I believe that someday I will become a gym rat
I believe that I

Jung Typology Test

            I took the Jung personality test yesterday. It said I am an ENfJ personality. That stands for Etraverted  iNtuitive Feeling Judging. Famous ENFJs are Bill Clinton (U.S. President), Tony Blair (Prime Minister of Great Britain), Clara Barton (Red Cross Founder), and Ronald Regan (U.S. President.) Oh, I can feel the power!

            ENFJs are charismatic, have great interpersonal skills, are helpers and enablers, and are multi-taskers. On the downside we tend to neglect ourselves for others, are at risk of getting hurt, and have a habit of taking on more of others burdens than we can bear. All of this is true of me, so true that it is spooky.

            I am a people person. I have the gift of gab. I am very persuasive. For this reason ENJFs do best in customer service and sales careers.  That is only true in person though. I hate talking on the phone and my short stint in phone sales did not make me rich. I have a natural inclination to take care of people. I also have always been a natural multi-tasker. It is actually impossible for me to do one thing at a time. I suppose it’s a good thing I became a nurse as nursing encompasses all of these traits.

            But, there’s always a flip side. The statistics for nurses who suffer burnout from taking on too much emotionally, physically, and from overwork are astronomical. The dark side of nursing is that a large percentage of nurses are alcoholics, drug addicts, and in abusive relationships. This is because nurses tend to put everyone before themselves and want to fix everyone. I am guilty of this myself.  This is why I have a history of unhealthy relationships.

            So, how does all of this affect me as a writer and a student? I think my people skills and the gift of gab makes my writing entertaining. Unfortunately entertainment isn’t always appropriate which makes serious and somber papers more difficult for me. Being a multi-tasker is infinitely helpful as a student. I am able to juggle all the classwork with ease. But, I have to be careful not to take on more than I can handle. I have to make sure I focus on myself and my education rather than everyone else’s problems.

            All in all I found this information interesting. Even though it didn’t teach me anything new about myself.

           

            

First English Comp assignment

Movie Title Essay

            I will be using Gone With The Wind as the inspiration for my essay. I will be exploring my feelings toward writing in general as it applies to the overall themes in Gone With The Wind.

The main focus of my essay will be my feelings toward this particular assignment as the plot of the first half of the movie progresses. I will start with a brief synopsis of my writing experience. Then I will move into the heart of the movie beginning with carefree feeling, briefly passing thru abject panic, and ending with determination to succeed.

            It has been years since I was required to do any creative writing. I left high school in 1996 and dove headfirst into the working world in Branson. Working in the tourist industry requires creativity but not in the written form. I also never learned how to type. In 2002 I went into LPN school. All of the instructors were new to teaching that year. There was an air about the whole class and faculty of “We don’t know what we are doing. Please just don’t let us kill anyone.” Needless to say term papers weren’t a priority. Nurses are discouraged from creative charting. The terms we use are concrete and uniform. When I started in my first position as a nurse my manager was excited that I even knew how to turn on a computer. Until about 10 years ago computers were not used in nursing.

When I initially saw the requirements for this essay I was excited. I love movies. I have always been told I am well-spoken, intelligent, and imaginative. I was as carefree as Scarlett at the barbecue. Just as she felt that she had life in the palm of her hand, I knew this essay would be a breeze. What neither she nor I knew was that a storm was brewing. We were both about to be shoved headfirst into a war. Hers was the Civil War, mine was a war with Microsoft Word.

The panic slowly started to escalate. Scarlett was dealing with situations she had never imagined, as was I.  She was birthing babies, escaping Atlanta in the dead of night, and shooting Yankees. I was trying desperately to get Word to download, figuring out what a header is, and learning how to double space. Scarlett was rescued by Rhett Butler with the threat of Atlanta’s fires licking at her heels. I was rescued by my sister as the threat of a due date licked at mine.

Trials and tribulations are a normal part of life. Some are just more dramatic than others. We as people are forged by the fire of those trials. Scarlett stood in the fields of Tara desperately searching for food and was determined to make it through. She said, “As God is my witness I’ll never be hungry again.”  I stood in the library desperately searching for a synopsis of the movies on our list and was determined to get this essay written. I said, “As God is my witness I will get it done.” Scarlett went back home, pushed up her shirt sleeves, and got to work. I went to the park, plugged in my laptop, and got to work. In the end we both succeeded.

In conclusion I have come full circle. I actually did enjoy writing this essay. It’s fun to be able to get the creative juices flowing. I have learned a few new valuable skills. I look forward to more assignments in the future. And, no people or animals were harmed in the writing of this essay.