My Brush With Death

I almost died today. It was scary and horrible. And kind of gross.....

It was a beautiful day the sky was a brilliant shade of blue with those huge fluffy clouds that seem so nice and happy but usually foreshadow a disastrous storm. I'm pretty sure I remember that from elementary school meteorology. It's entirely possible that I am wrong but it sounded good so just go with me on it. Weather girl is not in my resume.

OK back to the story. The weather was perfect with a little wind. The day had gone well. My grandmother behaved herself at her appointment. There was very minimal complaining. From her anyway I can't say thr same about the employees. I am fairly certain that people want to kill her wherever we go.

We were outside ready to get into the car. I was holding the wheelchair because I didn't want her to face plant on the pavement. I'm a good granddaughter like that. Plus I didn't have time to go to the ER.

So there I am holding onto the wheelchair for dear life. The wind started kicking up a little. Not much. Not enough to be alarming. I was laughing at the hilarity that is me. Mouth wide open kind of laughing. Out of nowhere my hair whips into my mouth! It is the perfect length to sit right on my trachea. It's blocking my air supply! And it tastes kind of gross!

I still have a firm grip on the wheelchair so I can't remove my hair. I'm going to choke to death on my own hair in the parking lot of the doctor's office. I know there is irony there somewhere. I wonder what the headline in the paper will say? Damnit Maggi focus you are dying here!!

Obviously I survived this harrowing experience. No one there today realized how close I came to death. No one understood the story they would have had to tell. That right belongs to me. I am so glad you, reader in my head, are able to experience it here with me. I live to tell a tale another day.