Alabama: Crazy laws

Crazy Alabama laws

For the state:

Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
Well that cancels my weekend plans

Incestuous marriages are legal.

No comment

It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.

Isn't that illegal everywhere???

It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.

I don't want to go to work so I'm going to cut my arm off. It's illegal? Oh. Never mind.

Masks may not be worn in public.

I bet Halloween is fun in Alabama

It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.

It's also unlucky to open them inside....I guess you just have to get wet.

Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.

Oh the power!

It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.

Mom said you have to be home when the streetlights come on

It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

Alabama...taking all the fun out of driving

Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.

But checkers is ok

It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

Make sure your fake moustasche is solemn.

Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.

What??? Why??? 

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

Because they may come back and hit you in the face.

It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.

1 if by land 2 if by sea.

You must have windshield wipers on your car.

This just made me giggle.

You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

You know your mama wrote this law.

City Laws in Alabama

Anniston

You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.

Take them off and walk down in your underwear

Auburn

No person may spit on the floor of a church.

It's just rude.

It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area.

Ummmmm....

Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.

This is why honeymoons were invented.

Huntsville

If an animal control officer is in uniform, it signifies to the public that he is an animal control officer.

Huntsville: stating the obvious since 1809

Mobile

Women may not wear a ‘lewd dress’ in public.

Just to be safe always wear sweatpants. If your guy complains that you never dress up refer him to this law.

No one may use a ‘funk ball’ within the city limits.

I don't even know what that is! How do I know if I'm breaking the law??!!!

Bathing in city fountains is prohibited.

We have indoor plumbing now!

No person within the city may possess confetti.

Does this mean you can't own a shredder?

It is illegal to spit orange peels on the sidewalk.

Cherry pits are fine though. Wait....shouldn't that be banana peels? I have seen a lot of cartoons and I've never seen anyone slip on an orange peel.

‘Spray String’ is banned.

Moms should not be allowed to make laws

Most locales do not have this problem, but Mobile found it necessary to ban bicycles from the interstate highways.

But, but, but.....

If one wishes to read palms in the city, they must first pay $10 for a permit.

That is oddly specific

It is illegal to howl at ladies within the city limits.

I seriously want to go stand at the city line and howl at ladies now.

It is unlawful to wear women’s pumps with sharp, high heels.

Mobile...just leaving women defenseless

Laws found at: http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/alabama?page=20