Every single time I take my dogs for a walk we end up in or almost in a dog fight. I make sure that my dogs are properly leashed at all times. Why? Because I care! Also, because my dogs will run away otherwise.
Other people's dogs, the ones that they let run all over creation, are not smart enough to stay away from the two growling, barking, slobbering powerhouses that drag me around. Or those dogs are so starved for attention that they'll take the booty kicking. Isn't that kind of the idea behind fraternities?
As a result of those people's poor doggy parenting, I regularly end up physically dragging 150 pounds of mad dog down the street. I feel that this must burn at least 500 extra calories per walk. It works the arms, glutes, thighs, and increases my heart rate into the stratosphere.
Imagine if you will a goofy fat chick physically attached to a large black dog and an even larger yellow dog. Because they are so strong they will rip the leashes out of my hands so I have to loop them around my wrists. This means that in the event of an emergency it's one for all and all for one.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, comes a strange dog. These dogs almost always start out in a friendly manner. The thing they don't seem to intuitively know is that my dogs are crazy protective of me. This means that anyone or anyhting they see as a threat to me, whether it be person or leaf, will be attacked and mauled. Instead of being smart and backing away, these strange dogs coninue to follow us down the street.
We have never lost a fight. We always walk away when we can. Turn the other cheek. Live to fight another day. Of course, if it looks like my boys are losing you're going to have me to deal with too.
The moral of this story is avoid the fat chick with the dogs. You will not win.
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