Indiana: Silly Laws

Indiana Silly Laws

Statewide

Waitresses may not carry drinks into a restaurant or bar.
That's a bartenders job
It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
What if he hides it really well?
Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
Who is in charge of measuring them?
If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.
If you do it for free it is fine.
Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.
Which is worth $1 and which is worth 3? I want to make sure I get my money's worth.
A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming.
Indiana is only worried about your moral fiber in $3 increments
The value of Pi is 3.
Isn't that bad for Pi's self esteem?
Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.
Add ice
You are required to pour your drink into a glass.
So that you can add ice. Indiana's got your back.
You can get out of paying for a dependent’s medical care by praying for him/her.
Dude.....
“Spiteful Gossip” and “talking behind a person’s back” are illegal.
And rude
One may not sniff glue.
Good plan
One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
Why not just require license plates on both ends of the car?
State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.
I think this violates Newton's law
A person must get a referral from a licensed physician if he or she wishes to see a hypnotist unless the desired procedure is to quit smoking or lose weight.
Shouldn't that be the other way around?
Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.
Thinking of idiots making decisions makes me want to smoke too.
All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
Indiana's version of Department of Transportation
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
Please tell me showers are legal
Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.
This is either the perfect punishment or WAY over the line. I can't decide which.
Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
Habitually??
It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday.
Give them car salesmen a day off
Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.
Where does one find wearable tail lights?

City Laws in Indiana

Beech Grove

It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.
Do that kind of thing in your home. With the blinds pulled. And the lights off.

Elkhart

It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid’s ears.
Did Floyd the barber ever threaten Opie's ears?

Evansville

While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.
Driving at night should be an adventure

Fort Wayne

You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast, the record “It`s In the Book”.
The what???

Gary

Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.
There might be a vampire. Vampires have rights too.

Indianapolis

Hopefully, residents of the city have speedometers on their horses, for they can not ride them in excess of ten miles per hour.
Ummmm....

One may only throw a stone at a bird in self-defense.
What kind of birds do they have in Indiana?

No person may collect rags on Sunday.
Why would you want to any day?

South Bend

It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.

Only in a college town....

Terre Haute

No one may spit on the sidewalk.

Spit in the street

Warsaw

No one may throw an old computer across the street at their neighbor.

What else am I supposed to do with it?