Illinois Silly Laws
Statewide:
Sex offenders in Illinois are prohibited from participating in holiday events like handing out candy at Halloween or dressing like Santa at Christmas, except under specific circumstancesI fully support this law
Those under 21 can drink legally, but they must be enrolled in a culinary program to do so
It's because of the cooking sherry
It is illegal to hang “obstructions” from the rear view mirror, including fuzzy dice, air fresheners, GPS units, etc.
Be safe hold your GPS in your hand
The English language is not to be spoken.
This must be why we have to push one for English
This must be why we have to push one for English
You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
But I have credit cards!
But I have credit cards!
City Laws in Illinois
Champaign
One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth.
Dumbfounded is me
Dumbfounded is me
Chicago
All businesses entering into contracts with the city must sift through their records and report any business they had dealing with slaves during the era of slavery.
What?
It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck.
This makes my head hurt
This makes my head hurt
Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
Because of the airplanes??
Because of the airplanes??
In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.
This is why I prefer bottled beer.
This is why I prefer bottled beer.
It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
1. Can a minor even get a permit 2. Doesn't this fall under the child pornography umbrella?
1. Can a minor even get a permit 2. Doesn't this fall under the child pornography umbrella?
Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
I don't care if Denny's is on fire I'm finishing the Moons Over MyHammy
I don't care if Denny's is on fire I'm finishing the Moons Over MyHammy
It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
Dogs prefer beer anyway. Just don't give it to him in a bucket in Pullman on a curb.
Dogs prefer beer anyway. Just don't give it to him in a bucket in Pullman on a curb.
Cicero
Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
Nobody do nothin' fun on Sunday!
Nobody do nothin' fun on Sunday!
Collinsville
It is illegal to wear sagging pants in Collinsville, IL.
My first thought is Yay Collinsville!
My first thought is Yay Collinsville!
Crete
It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one’s dog.
What if you succeed?
What if you succeed?
Cars may not be driven through the town.
How big is this town?
How big is this town?
Crystal Lake
If one wishes to plant new sod in his or her yard in the summer months, that person may not use the city’s water to water it.
So...only people with private wells can have sod?
So...only people with private wells can have sod?
Des Plaines
Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
All I can think is that there isn't a lot going on in Des Plaines
All I can think is that there isn't a lot going on in Des Plaines
Evanston
Bowling is forbidden.
Someone is a sore loser.
Someone is a sore loser.
It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
1. When did automobiles have curtains? 2. Should I change with the curtains open? 3. What does fire have to do with anything?
1. When did automobiles have curtains? 2. Should I change with the curtains open? 3. What does fire have to do with anything?
Freeport
You must move your car back and forth everyday for 4 months out of the year regardless of weather conditions
Someone is just going to have to explain this to me
Galesburg
It is illegal to burn bird feathers.
Ok.......
Ok.......
Jostling others is illegal.
There are a lot of preadolescents in trouble
There are a lot of preadolescents in trouble
No bicyclist may practice “fancy riding” on any city street.
So Tony Hawk stay away (I know that Tony Hawk is a skateboarder but I don't know any X games bike people)
So Tony Hawk stay away (I know that Tony Hawk is a skateboarder but I don't know any X games bike people)
No person may keep a smelly dog.
Aren't all dogs smelly?
There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
Shouldn't that say prize?
Shouldn't that say prize?
Horner
It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.
The Horner Police Department keeps it old school
The Horner Police Department keeps it old school
Joliet
Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town’s name mispronounced ‘Jolly-ETTE’ when all local folk know it’s pronounced ‘Joe-lee-ETTE’, made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.
It's the municipal version of a swear jar.
It's the municipal version of a swear jar.
Kenilworth
A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow.
This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard
This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard
Kirkland
Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland’s streets.
I spoke too soon
I spoke too soon
Moline
Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited.
Makes sense
Makes sense
There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
I don't even know what that is
I don't even know what that is
Morton Grove
You may not own a handgun.
Says who???
Says who???
Normal
It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
Because they can't make them back
Because they can't make them back
Orland Park
No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.
It's the real life River City
It's the real life River City
Ottawa
Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
Spit in the street instead
Spit in the street instead
Park Ridge
Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
Whatcha got against trucks?
Whatcha got against trucks?
Peoria
Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.
We prefer our children play in the street
We prefer our children play in the street
Rock Island
Citizens are taxed because it rains on their property.
Makes the Boston Harbor Tea Party seem like a good idea
Makes the Boston Harbor Tea Party seem like a good idea
Zion
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.
I guess that means undomesticated animals can smoke
I guess that means undomesticated animals can smoke
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